Molly Sickens

Molly luxuriated in her morning shower. “Thank you, water. Thank you for your gifts to me,” she said aloud as she did every morning.

Showering was a creative time for her when she sorted through her notions about the coming day, weeded out items that could wait, and made serendipitous link ups between ideas and the steps needed to make them realities. Connections that would not have happened staring at her endless to-do list, seemed to glide together from some hidden part of her mind in this setting. Maybe it was the lavender soap that Cindy made. That woman was a lavender queen!

Today she thought about the need for another energetic cleansing at ReBound. There was a lot of psychic energy attached to both the people and stuff that went through the place. Clearing out dark, dead ghoulies was a regular necessity as important as clearing out the material objects that had been hanging around too long. “Hey! I can ask Ursula’s class to do it this time. It would be good practice for them. I’m sure they are covering space clearing as part of their coursework.”

That settled, her thoughts turned to staffing issues. She realized that she was kind of stressed –very stressed – about the need to think about hiring again. When was she going to get a critical mass of competent people who stayed?? The PSU interns were doing a great job and some might decide to stay on. Gabe was certainly turning out to be a gem, but….

Absently mindedly, she rubbed her hands over her breasts, squeezing at a little cyst that kept reappearing next to her nipple. Suddenly she caught her breath and froze, literally going cold despite the hot water pouring down her body. There was a little bit of black gunk oozing out of her nipple. Her first thought was that it was something from the dump somehow. She squeezed again. “Shit. Shit!  SHIT!! …. Okay, stay calm, Molly! Breathe…. breathe!” She spoke the words out loud, trying to calm her rising panic.

And in that moment when everything seemed to be crashing down on her, she made an inward vow: “I DO NOT HAVE TO GET SICK TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.”  The very air seemed to shimmer around her for just a second, the water droplets on her breast and belly sparkling with the morning’s sun streaming through the high window.

“So…. first things first…. Turn off the water…. Get out of the shower…. Dry off…. Rescue Remedy.” She found the bottle in her medicine cabinet and could feel the little sigh that always followed dripping this Bach Flower Essence under her tongue. Its grounding powers helped her to think again – or at least to stop talking out loud to herself.

“OK, I’m going to call that new doctor at the clinic who seems to know as much about natural medicine as he does about the allopathic, MD world. Where did I leave the phone book? Hell, where did I leave the phone??”

After finding the two errant essentials by the couch where she had fallen asleep reading last night, she realized it was too early to call Dr. Raphael Turner. She thought about all her friends and what she could say to them. That made her realize that she really, really didn’t want to tell anyone else. Yet. They would be pissed if they knew she was withholding from them, but she wanted to hug this scary thing to herself for now. Somehow it seemed that speaking it to others would make it more real. Best she check it out first. Hug it to herself while she got used to the idea…. “Shit. Damnation. Kinda makes other things pale, doesn’t it?” she said picking up The Cat. “Time for some more Rescue Remedy. I think I better put some in my drinking water bottle today.”